Friday, January 13, 2012

My Name is Evan, Call Me by It

From Disability ★ Blog:

By Guest Blogger Evan Heller, Senior at Attleboro High School

Who am I? Easy – my name is Evan, that's who I am and that's what I'm called. And yet, for some of my friends, there are still people who would identify them by saying, “Oh, him? He's a “special needs” kid, “a SPED,” – a “retard.”

Why are some of my best friends, people who just happen to have intellectual disabilities, identified not by their names, but by their disability? Is it out of ignorance? Is it because people feel some unwarranted and overwhelming desire to label others? Or is the sad truth that these friends of mine are not called by name, because their names are not known?

Out of ignorance or out of fear, many people do not get to know individuals with intellectual disabilities as anything more than just a label. People need to start taking the initiative to do something as simple as merely talking to someone with an intellectual disability; getting to know them as more than a diagnosis, and maybe, as a friend.

People with and without intellectual disabilities are not that dissimilar. Some may learn a bit differently, behave in a way that doesn't always fit society's definition of “normal” and perhaps, perceive the world in a slightly different light – so what? A bit different? Aren't we all?

If you focus on the similarities, rather than the differences, among people with and without intellectual disabilities, you will find they have more in common than not. People with intellectual disabilities have the same interests and desires as everyone else. They like music (I have two friends who know the lyrics to more songs on the radio than anyone else that I know); sports (indeed, many follow the latest stats, trades and scores far more intently than most of my regular-education peers); to hang out with friends and above all, to be accepted.

This is why I’m passionate about a campaign called “Spread the Word to End the Word®”. The purpose of the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign is not so much to eliminate the R-word (“retarded” or “retard”) but to promote respect. It's true that we are against the use of the R-Word, but that is only because it inhibits the existence of universal respect.

The R-word, which was once used as only a medical diagnosis, has since evolved to become a word with which we dub the unwanted or seemingly stupid aspects of our lives. Even if you aren't directly calling someone with special needs “retarded,” when you say it to a friend that fell or did something dumb, about a test that you did poorly on or an unfortunate situation, what you are essentially saying about people with intellectual disabilities is, “Hey, do you see this thing that I think is stupid? I'm going to call it the same thing people call you.”

This dehumanizing term that puts my friends with intellectual disabilities on the same level as these unwanted facets of our lives is without a doubt, regardless of intent, bullying – plain and simple. We are not trying to take away anyone's freedom of speech, we are only trying to grant people the right to be treated with respect.

It is hard for me to not get frustrated while writing this blog. I find myself conforming to society’s views more than I would like by repeatedly writing “us” and “them” for narrative clarity. That frustrates me to no end. I want to live in a world that fosters respect, unity and acceptance with only a collective “us.” One day when I have children of my own, I want to be able to raise them in a world that sees people for who they are, not what they look like or what you may think them to be. I want us to live in a world without labels.

Evan Heller, 17, a senior at Attleboro High School in Massachusetts, has been volunteering and coaching for Special Olympics for eight years. He serves on Special Olympics Project UNIFY’s national Youth Activation Committee as well as the Project UNIFY Massachusetts Youth Activation Council.

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