Don’t Call Me At Home: Effective Communication with your child’s special educators

Communicating with your child’s teacher is a must for every parent. For parents of a child with special needs it is critical. So the big question is how and when do I speak to my child’s teacher? The answer is not so simple: Phone Calls Managing the time between when the kids come home from school until when they go to bed requires all my skills. This is when my three children need to complete their homework, eat dinner, attend their after school activities, negotiate getting out of their chores, and finagle a few extra minutes before bedtime. One year a teacher decided to donate some of “her time” to call me about 7 p.m. to discuss school. In the middle of our evening, the phone would ring and I would suddenly find myself in an impromptu parent-teacher meeting. Leaving my husband to manage the last of the homework assignments and the bedtime routines, I sat and spoke with the teacher. I never felt like the conversations made much of an impact on my daughter’s school day. In addition, by the time our conversation was done, I felt annoyed that I had missed the precious time with my family. My husband felt annoyed that he was left to attend to everyone’s needs without any advance warning. Email In my efforts to avoid surprise phone calls, I switched my mode of communication to emailing. This proved to be more of a disaster than the surprise phone calls. Within emails there is no room for interpretation and tone. Messages read without knowledge of the intent of the sender can result in hostility. In addition, there just isn’t enough space to describe and explain the complexities of educating a child with special needs. I have learned that teachers do not like reading long emails. I now have reserved email for simple clarification of assignments and procedural messages.

Smiley Face Chart As a teacher for the past 23 years I am guilty of sending daily behavior charts home. It wasn’t until I started receiving them (as a parent) that my opinion of them greatly changed! I believe that the daily behavior chart should only be used for shaping one targeted behavior that you want to develop. It should be paired with a positive behavioral support plan that is developed to support the child. When a child has greater needs, this plan is a formal document that is signed by the parent. Positive reinforcements are developed to reward the behavior you want to shape. In addition, for a child that has an IEP, this should also be linked to a specific goal in the IEP. When my daughter was young, she wouldn’t leave her shoes on in school. I was receiving a daily smiley face chart. It had a smiley face, a straight face, and a frown face. Most every day I opened her folder to see the sad face was circled on the chart. In the context of my evening with my family, how did this help us? I had no power to influence what was going on at school. Every time I saw the sad face I felt annoyed and helpless.

Paraprofessional Rather than daily written reports, we switched to having my daughter’s paraprofessional speak to me after school daily. However, paraprofessionals are not in charge of educational decisions. So after talking to me, the paraprofessional had to translate my information to the teacher. We have all played the game “Telephone” as children–as we learned the end message is never the same. Just Talk to Me After nine years of trying new communication methods, I have finally decided to talk with the teacher directly. Since my daughter is in middle school, the teacher and I have arranged for me to pick up my daughter a few minutes early and while I am putting my daughter in the car, the resource room teacher tells me a little about her day and assignments. Since my daughter is non-verbal, this information is priceless! In addition, I have an immediate opportunity to ask clarifying questions. If a concern arises, I know I will be seeing the teacher after school. They key is to honor the teacher’s time and while it is tempting on most days, I try not to talk to her more than 5 minutes.

Meetings In addition to short, daily contact, once a month I schedule a 30-minute meeting to discuss my daughter’s access to the general education curriculum. I bring samples of her work that I enjoy seeing and things I have questions about. In middle school, the resource room teacher coordinates all the support staff so I only need to talk to her. It feels organized and effective. It has been my experience that the more needs a child has, the more need there is to effectively communicate with people at school. I have three children. Other than parent-teacher conferences they haven’t heard much from me regarding the education of our sons! However, my oldest daughter has special needs and requires much more communication to effectively monitor her IEP goals and her daily happiness. I now feel free from daily phone calls and charts. I am now free to attend to the needs of my family without wondering if the phone will ring. So… How do you communicate with your child’s teachers?

10 Tips for Making Middle School Work for Kids With Autism

Hi everyone, I am reaching out to autism organizations, parents and advocates to share my latest article :-) 10 Tips for Making Middle School Work for Kids With Autism A positive experience...a time of maturity, growth, and independence http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/autism-in-real-life/201204/10-tips-making-middle-school-work-kids-autism Thanks! ~Kym

Tip 12: Professionally “Publish” a Personalized Book // Paula Kluth: Toward Inclusive Classrooms and Communities

Tip 12: Professionally “Publish” a Personalized Book // Paula Kluth: Toward Inclusive Classrooms and Communities:

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Wrightslaw Special Education & Advocacy Conference, Charlotte, NC (May 3, 2012)

If you haven't attended one of Pete Wright's conferences, please consider attending....the information is invaluable.

Wrightslaw Special Education & Advocacy Conference, Charlotte, NC (May 3, 2012)

What You Need to Know: Preparing Students with Special Needs for the Inclusive Classroom

Great information......

What You Need to Know: Preparing Students with Special Needs for the Inclusive Classroom

Gmail - Posts from Friendship Circle -- Special Needs Blog for 04/05/2012 - hawkinsj68@gmail.com

Four Great Special Needs Resources for Passover

APR 05, 2012 08:48 AM | TZVI

Passover is just two days away and the number one question on eveyone’s lips is: What are your Passover plans?

For most the answer to that question will be replies of who they have invited to their seder, who they will be visiting on Passover, whats on the menu and so on.

For a family with a special needs child the questions that they are trying to answer are more along the lines of: How will I keep my child still during the seder, what will my child eat, and what will he or she gain from attending a seder?

To help you get some answers to your questions (after all Passover is all about questions) here are four great resources to help prepare you and your child with special needs for Passover.

Gateways

Gateways mission is to provide access to Jewish Education for children with special needs in the greater Boston area.
Gateways provides some great online resources for Passover including versions of the Passover story (including in boardmaker symbols), visual supports for Passover, Passover songs with visual supports, and much more!
Visit their Passover Resource Section 

Gluten Free Matzah & Recipes

Do you have a child, family member or friend who is on a gluten-free diet?  If the answer is yes then this post is for you. Find out where you can purchase gluten-free oat Matzah for Passover plus check out three great cookbooks that offer up some great gluten-free dishes.
Read the post here.

Tips for a Sensory Friendly Passover Seder

Many children with special needs can’t sit by the dinner table for more than 5 minutes. Can you imagine a lengthy Passover Seder? This blog post provides tips that will keep a child with special needs engaged in the seder experience.
Read The Post Here.

Passover Website For Kids!

Designed for children of all ages and abilities. Passover For Kids is a great site created by chabad.org. The site is full of activities for every child and features interactive games, video, audio and much more to teach, engage and entertain child about the festival of Passover.
Visit the Passover For Kids site.

Wishing you a happy Passover!

About Tzvi

Rabbi Tzvi Schectman joined the Friendship Circle in 2007 as a program coordinator at Friendship Circle. In addition he maintains the Friendship Circle website and keeps an eye on the latest and greatest in the tech world.